8 Hours on Cocoon
March 13, 2010
I’m about eight hours into Final Fantasy XIII and I’ve already got six different angles on how to analyze it written down in my notes. Is it the greatest game? Certainly not. Is it the greatest Final Fantasy? I’m loving it but I wouldn’t go that far. You should know what you’re getting when you sign up–a really pretty movie alternating with an experiment in battle systems. It’s certainly beautiful (I’m playing on the 360, and I’m told the PS3 version is even better), it’s got a good storyline so far, and the battle system is certainly a challenge.
You’ve probably heard some comments on the game’s extreme linearity–they’re all completely true. JRPGs in general are extremely linear; this one goes to the extreme of having the game essentially take place in a series of corridors. Killer7 had more freedom of movement than this. One of the major themes of the game is the inevitability of destiny. One of the characters has a line: Better to pick your path and keep moving. The game is almost a literalization of that philosophy: The characters have no choice but to either follow their destinies or die–although one of the characters is attempting to take a third option that I do not think will end well. The player, likewise, can either continue down the set path or shut the game off.
Cartridge Blowers Episode 45: I’m On the Internet
March 10, 2010
President Lincoln’s rule of speechwriting was tell the audience what you’re going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them. In that spirit, this week on Cartridge Blowers, Richard and Eric talk about Mega Man 10, Valet Hustle, the Infinity Ward controversy, Square Enix’s firing of all their musicians, the ability to disclose one’s sexual orientation on XBox Live, Sony’s patent for degrading demos, Steam coming to Mac, Activision shutting down the King’s Quest sequel, and Phantasmagoria 2 coming to Good Old Games. Now that we’ve told you, listen to the episode, and when you’re done, reread the description.
Excuse Me…
March 10, 2010
Yesterday found me leaning against the back wall of the subway in a foul mood. It was one of those combination bad days–I’d been dealing with the last few pangs of a stomach virus I got on Saturday, I’d had a big workload at my creatively and personally unfulfilling job, my train had been delayed, it was crowded and I couldn’t get a seat, there were a ton of Midwesterners with those fucking wheely-bags in Penn Station–just a great mass of suck. I was ensconced in my subway corner, playing Ace Attorney Investigations, and all I wanted to do was go home, play Final Fantasy XIII, watch the new episode of Lost, and go to sleep, and woe betide anyone who dared look at me.
I’m about to make a major break in the case when I hear a small voice in front of me saying, “Excuse me, what are you playing?”
This week’s Cartridge Blowers Is Late
March 9, 2010
Richard and Eric were having way too much fun not recording this week’s episode to get it done on time, so it will be released tomorrow instead. They apologize for any discomfort this may cause, and suggest a salve or cream to help with the itching.
So by now everyone who likes video games has heard about this Activision/Infinity Ward mess and also apparently everyone is required to have a Strong Opinion about it, although I really don’t but I’ll pretend that I do because I have to write something today. I don’t really like shooters all that much and I also don’t really like war games or war movies or war kinetoscopes and I never liked playing war when I was a kid, although the card game was kind of fun except I have no idea what the rules are. Anyway my point is I played a Call of Duty game once for like an hour and that was enough. But I am aware of the fact that a super lot of people really get all hot for them and since I get all hot for contractual breaches because I am weird I thought hey why not write about this.
Let This Be Your Final Fantasy
March 5, 2010
Final Fantasy
Final Fantasy XIII
Richard’s post on Wednesday was a nice summation of Final Fantasy’s legacy, placing it in a broad historical context, but I did take exception when he said:
I don’t have the energy to grind. I don’t have the energy to figure out the Pluto logic that the games operate on in order to get decent equipment. I don’t have the energy to go on the internet and download a guide so I can remember that if I don’t open the fourth and seventh chests, the fiftieth chest will have some really cool spear or something. I don’t have the energy to figure out an arbitrary abilities system.
The thought that Final Fantasy XIII will make me jump through the same hoops, while paying $60 for the privilege, scares the fuck out of me.
Final Fantasy, if you’ll indulge me in some philosophical bullshit, is a game for the young.
Well, I also took exception when he ended his post by saying he was still going to buy the fucking game. Give me the $60, Richard. I’ll spend it all on making cookies.
Richard framed the series in a historical and cultural context, talked about its overly-convoluted narratives and gameplay, and especially, especially, complained about the level grind, yet he comes to the conclusion that the Final Fantasy games are for the young (however he defines that term.) This is just wrong-headed.
The Energy to Grind
March 4, 2010
Final Fantasy XIII is coming out in, I dunno, a week or so, and I’m conflicted. On the one hand, I’ve got this thing called a life, and Square has in recent years proven that Final Fantasy is only for the hardcorest of the hardcore. On the other hand, I’m supposed to be the JRPG guy around here, and this is certainly a high profile release, and come on, RPGs in space? I’m a goddamn sucker for that.
I try hard not to be one of those internet journalist dillweeds who hates every videogame that was ever released ever and has a career based on making fun of everything, so rather than bitch about why I’m sick of Final Fantasy, I’m going to try something different. I’m going to look at my history with the series and see if I can’t make a decision based on that.
Richard and Eric both had separately terrible weekends, so when they got together to record this week’s episode, there was a lot of bewildered vitriol and misplaced rage to work through. They still managed to play games, though: Deadly Premonition and Dragon Age, respectively. Later, the duo take Richard’s car to Valet Hustle in order to pay a visit to Lara Croft Way. Oh, and apparently a Final Fantasy VII remake would take twelve years to make. That’s almost as long as it would take Squeenix to make several Dragon Quest remakes! Polygons are hard.
So a while back I wrote this article about how Dragon Age sucked a lot and how I couldn’t get into it and couldn’t bring myself to care about Ferelden and all its problems and like why can’t they just develop the nuclear bomb already and get out of this feudalism wet dream? Which is totally weird because back when I had very little to do with my life I played quite a lot of Bioware RPGs but we’re talking back before everyone realized that Y2K wouldn’t end the world and I don’t know if you remember but games back then were kind of more primitive than they are now. Like, do you remember keeping fucking post-it notes of quests and shit lying around, because I do, and that crap was goddamned annoying.
That Genre You Like Is Going To Come Back In Style
February 26, 2010
Sometimes, a movie or a game or a book comes out that fits a niche so personal to you that you’re unsure how it got made without your input. For example, I’m surprised that the upcoming Prince of Persia movie isn’t coming out as a Cartridge Blowers Presents, because come on, a videogame movie starring Jake Gyllenhaal that’s basically an obvious excuse for the actor to have shirtless fight scenes? I think Eric and I should sue because that’s pretty much what we like to think about before we go to sleep.
Survival horror is one of my favorite things, as are David Lynch films. In 2007, a game called Rainy Woods was announced. Based on the trailer, it’s pretty much Twin Peaks in videogame form. There was no way in hell I was going to miss this one. The game was delayed and delayed–partially because everybody decided the game felt more “rip-off” than “homage”. Finally, it was announced the game would be released as a budget title of $20. Very few people seem to have noticed the game’s existence, and those who did aren’t really looking forward to it. IGN’s review savaged the game.
But enough about poorly-written articles–what does a guy who knows what he’s talking about think about the game? I’m a few hours in and I fucking love it.
